When you get hit by a loaded dump truck be happy for small miracles.
Over the years I’ve learned that inner doubts are my psyche smoke alarm. Now I just listen.
Life is short! Make the best of it!
Nothing brings satisfaction like sticking to what you want. When others try to persuade you into doing something that just isn’t within you proudly say no.
Nothing says that you care about yourself like making yourself presentable when leaving your home. A happy and pleasant person will look comfortable in their attire. I don’t mean for you to break the bank … just to be presentable. I’ve pulled off presentable looks with high end, middle of the road, and even thrift store finds that I was sure to properly wash before wearing. No one has to know.
Sometimes, you don’t have a choice but to deal with negativity. If that’s the case … commit to box it in. Decide to address the negative situation for a set period of time every day until you have it resolved. Or, perhaps until you have decided not to deal with it anymore. Remember, your happiness is your fresh air – your soul needs it to thrive.
Sometimes I have wondered why some unhappy people don’t realize how unhappy they are. I think it may be because that situation that they’re in is their own version of happiness. And so, I think if they can define their happiness then so can I. I encourage to PUSH towards the pinnacle of your own definition of happiness. Don’t wait for someone else to define it for you.
It is so important to express your feelings in a safe and honest environment. Accusations can make others feel defensive and sever their willingness to communicate you.
Take care of yourself. Forgive yourself for not being perfect. No one is perfect. The better you take care of yourself the better able you will be to help others. When others see you valuing yourself, they will value themselves as well. This manner of teaching by modeling behavior is a powerful tool.
Sometimes we try to plan our lives out. Even down to which school, which degree, which company, salary, age of marriage, number of children, or our retirement age. However, we should also plan for those times when opportunity knocks. It could be for unforeseen career opportunities, personal growth opportunities, or a chance at … . If we recognize these positive diversions from our “life plan” true happiness may reveal itself to us.
Thank you for life!
When you realize what a person is capable of, ignore their guilt trips. It’s only used to lull you back into feeling sorry for them so that they can gain an advantage over you. So, choose your happiness and your sanity over theirs. Allow to happen to them the things that they would do to you. It’s not your job to save them from themselves. Especially, when you realize that they would abuse you if they could. Be strong! Be encouraged! Don’t give in! Move on to something more positive.
Every bad experience I have reminds me of the fact that my happiness is a choice that I must take action to preserve. I had someone yell at me yesterday and I told them that I was putting an end to all my interactions with them. They swiftly changed tune, apologized, and promised not to do it again. It felt good to reaffirm that in life “we teach others how to treat us!”
Congratulations to the Philadelphia Eagles football team for their first Super Bowl Championship. They played well and deserve to win. They proved that you can succeed even when most people doubt you. They chose to ignore the naysayers and play their hearts out. And …THEY WON!
How refreshing life is when you choose to be happy! Happiness is always a choice. Fight to keep it. Always! When others try to get you down … FIGHT!
We often deny a person’s description of themselves. The truth is that this person probably knows themselves better than you know them. Accept what they say and move on. Spending the time trying to change their description of themselves is a waste of time. Instead, you could spend that time nurturing what makes you truly happy.
Just a little can mean so much.
When you’re feeling down, take a pause from the routines of life, and do something that brings you peace. It may be a quiet cup of tea, or relaxation with a long awaited movie or book. Make this moment yours and don’t feel guilty about it. You deserve it!
The joy of life is being true to yourself. Being authentic is a source of happiness because being yourself requires so little energy that you can focus on feeding your passions. Whether that means taking a job, a class, or surrounding yourself with likeminded people. More energy could be spent on perfecting who you are rather than changing yourself to fit into someone else’s preconceived mold.
Have you ever heard people gossip about others? Gossipers pettily notice every flaw and harp on it. I challenge each of us to study our own flaws and make the changes to our lives that will make us happier. I know that I sometimes overthink things and just have too much stuff in my home. My goal, and it’s more of a mental battle than anything else, is to live like a minimalist. Check out that Nextflix documentary…it inspired me. I’ve noticed that the barer my space is the clearer and lighter my mind feels.
Have you ever heard the expression “Jack of all trades, master of none.” It refers to a person who tries to do everything but is good at nothing. Why? Because s/he is just doing too many things. So much so that they cannot possibly be good at any of them. We are human beings not superheroes. Pick one thing at a time, master it, and complete the job before moving on to the next “trade.” Happiness is to respect your boundaries and limits.
Looking for love? Then be a kind person. Always look your best before you leave your home. It shows your prospects that you love and care for yourself. It sends the message that you will love and care for them too.
Love is pure, forgiving, unselfish, and puts you first. If you love yourself you will feel all these things when you “fall.” If someone truly loves you they will SHOW all these feelings to you.
To hate yourself is to prove that the naysayers were right to not believe in you. Be a warrior let them see you happy and loving life without them.
It’s important to identify the words that you speak to yourself when you think no one is listening. Do you put yourself down? Do you encourage yourself? The words we say to ourselves can be felt/seen in our aura. Be kind to yourself!
Saying no is one of the most refreshing feelings one can express. Especially, when that “no” comes from an honest place. Be true to yourself, just say no!
Oh how quickly the years roll by. Here is to hoping that this coming year brings more tolerance for each others’ differences in our world. There is nothing more beautiful than a bouquet with flowers of different sizes and foliage. If the plants can peacefully coexist then so should we. I am grateful for another year and look forward to more opportunities ahead. If we expect good it will come. Prepare yourselves and be ready to accept good people, things, and opportunities.
I cannot believe that it’s been a whole year since I started HappinessTruths.com. I am excited that my time has been spent focusing on what makes me happy, not sad. The more I think about it the more I realize that Happiness is like a relationship. It requires work, lots of work to keep out the negative and let in the positive. There are other ways that I have been trying to work on my happiness. They include working out at least 3-4 times per week. As a result of this I have lost over 25 pounds. I’m also now focusing on eating healthier. It’s been the hardest part of this journey to completely change my diet and stay away from sweets and other junk. If I can get this and add a full night’s rest to the mix I will be even more on my way.
Sometimes I find myself simply shutting out the negative people around me. It’s just easier than to get enmeshed with the drama and never ending circle of nonsense. I realize that a lot of these types of people are master manipulators and will try almost anything to rope you in. But after standing my ground on more than a few occasions they’ve just stopped. I make it clear what I will and will not tolerate. I may apologize that they feel the way they feel but never do I assume responsibility for their feelings. If I take one step forward with my right foot, there are 100 people out there who may interpret that one step in 100 different ways. Once I comforted myself in the fact that their interpretation is no reflection on me and refused to let the interpretation, whatever it may be, influence me and my decision making, I experienced a happier self and clearer mind. Just let them go.
I became so much happier when I decided to do what makes me happy and to follow my passion. Boy is it a lot of work. However, I strive to stay awake to to the things that drive me, my curiosity, and choice to be happy.
I realize more and more that to live with regret and a desire to rewrite the past is a form of denying how my past experiences molded me into who I am today. It is unfair to myself to second guess yesterday’s decision with today’s knowledge. If we all rewrote the past with today’s knowledge we would simply be on a slippery slope of IF THIS … THEN THAT, and that is no way to live happily in the present. So, forgive yourself for past mistakes and tell yourself that you made the best decision for you at the time with the information that you had.
If we accept the reality of the things that we CANNOT control we will be open to investing time into and improving the things that we CAN control.
Kindness to others (those we care about and strangers) is a sure way to happiness. Doing a good deed for another without any expectation of a reward or even a thank you is not only cathartic, it’s contagious.
Waking up every morning with the realization that life is passing by – quickly. The days seem to begin and end faster and faster with a career that is careening to a stand still. Why fight to keep it going if it doesn’t make you happy? Why fight to keep a career that brings no joy but to the people who benefit from your expertise? It makes no sense to struggle and fight to keep a career that is causing misery and sheer dissatisfaction. It’s not worth it and life is just too short. Time to MAKE A CHANGE. The more I think about it the more I realize that I have to spend time engaging in my passion. I did just that the other day. It was unpaid and I had to spend time and money to get there but it was the best two hours that I’ve had working in a very long time. Since then I’ve lost sleep thinking about wanting to do this full-time. That’s when you know that you’ve found your calling. Choose your calling and to be around people who follow their true calling or at least encourage you to follow yours.
Sometimes its easier to focus on the sadness or the past because it’s just the comfortable thing to do. However, it is more rewarding to challenge yourself to be better, to do better, and to live.
Happiness and joy must be shared with the one(s) you love. They should want and love to see you happy and you should want them to be happy too. Never stand in the way of another person’s happiness or allow another to prevent you from being happy. It’s all about choices because the everyday choices that we make contributes to our overall well being.
So, I booked a flight about 6 weeks ago to depart this evening. My plan was to fly into another city and finalize some business which includes an arbitration hearing (not fun). After reading the news headlines regarding the impending blizzard I realize that my wonderful plans may not materialize. “And Snow it Goes” said the caption in the news bulletin. Indeed! It’s funny that years ago this would have completely stressed me out. However, now I feel so much happier just rolling with the punches. Everything happens for a reason.
We all have to decide sooner or later what we want to accomplish in life. Others may opine about which direction we should take or that their brand of advice is wisest. However, in the end only you know what makes you happy. Life has always and will always be the result of a series of choices. Choose joy and happiness and you will live without regrets.
So I started another class yesterday in my ongoing pursuit towards fulfilling my passion. The one thing that I must acknowledge is that few things come easy in life – even if you love what you do. It really takes dedication and training. However, I also realize that because I am immersed in my passion I enjoy the training, I enjoy listening to the teacher, and look forward to learning even more.
Have you ever had someone in your life whose daily behavior was so over the top that even they call themselves crazy? Yet, you still associate with them by hanging out, talking on the telephone, emailing them etc.
Have you ever wondered why this person sticks around you when everyone else simply stays away from them? It’s because you’ve allowed them to encroach on your inner peace and tranquility. Even the crazy person knows this and because they’re crazy and can’t help themselves they will continue to trouble the waters more and more until you decide to cut them out or join them in crazy land.
So, now they’ve done something so egregious – so beyond the pale that even they know that they’re wrong. They’re trying their hardest to apologize and to patch things up with you. STOP! THINK!
Patching things up will only bring you back to the circus. Do you really want to continue to live like that? If the answer is no then don’t patch things up. Don’t call them or take their calls. Don’t answer their emails. Don’t make yourself available to spend time with them.
By the same token don’t waste time and energy “unfriending” them from every social network known to humankind, or blocking their email, or changing your telephone number. Just let it go – let it deflate on its own. And please, don’t entertain someone like that ever again. Now that we know the signs we have to keep walking by when we see them coming. Just smile and pick up the pace.
Sharing your dreams with everyone may just open you up to a host of unsolicited and dear I say well-meaning but misguided advice. Your friends may mean well when they try to steer you towards the safe route. However, you know this route quite well. You’ve been on it for several years and you are not happy. I’ve been on my route for 6 years now and I just got off at the last exit. It feels so good to choose to follow my dreams and not the dreams that other people have for me. This experience has brought me sheer joy and I crave more of it. Happiness is a choice.
Now that the new year is upon us I have decided to take this time to reflect on my life and think about my wishes for the future. I say wishes and not plans because we can always try to plan our lives but as we all know things happen. In order to move forward in happiness and peace we cannot dwell on the past. Remember the past only to the extent where if it rears its head you can easily recognize it and probably know how to respond. Follow your dreams and shed the dead weight. Not the weight on your physical body but the “frenemies” who do not mean you well. Shake them off and keep it moving without apology. Happy New Year!
In all the madness and the fuss do not forget to care for yourself. The children will understand if they don’t get everything on their Christmas wish list. Credit debt to impress will just create unnecessary stress. Do the best you can with what you have and you’ll not only find joy and happiness but peace as well. Happy Holidays.
Possessions and money buy happiness which is momentary but experiences bring joy which lasts much longer and is often unforgettable. Transform pain into memorable happiness (aka joy) with life changing experiences.
So, I got an unsolicited job offer this week. It came from out of nowhere. The trouble is it was a request for me to continue doing what I’m desperately trying to get out of. I have one foot in my old profession just to pay the bills until my passion can do the same. So, at this crossroad I decided to inform this employer of my happiness truth and hinted that it may be something they may have to think about. I didn’t share my passion just my time constraints and my desire to reinvent myself. To my surprise they requested a meeting anyway when I’m available. So, the motto if my story is to stick to your happiness truth and everything else may fall in place.
So, the straw that makes you decide enough is enough may be 1 inch or 1 mile long. Whatever your breaking point is, never allow the person who brought you to that point to convince you that its okay. It’s not okay. If it’s okay once it will be okay until you realize that your straw is 10 miles long. When it gets that long you will be officially a door mat with no boundaries at all.
I’ve decided that if I’m not happy with my life the way it is then I need to change my life. I’ve often heard the saying “we plan and God laughs.” This I believe is probably true. However, we must be willing to open ourselves up and be available to receive and SAY YES to opportunities. Choosing to be happy is not planning out the future details of our lives. The choice to be happy is a choice to take proactive steps towards what we hope to achieve with our lives.
Do you like yourself? Do you love yourself? We can only be happy with others in love and life if we are happy with and by ourselves. I find peace sitting alone and reading about a topic of interest to me. I try to make my internal dialogue one of encouragement and think about the things that I would love to do. I then think about ways to achieve them. Happy people are drawn to happy people.
So, I went to another class this week and never in my life have I been so eager to learn. All I could think to myself was “why did I not do this sooner?” It was invigorating – just wonderful to be learning about something that I am passionate about. If we all could follow our passions in life we would all probably be happier people. I also realize that others notice when I’m happy – really happy – not feigned happiness. Real happiness comes from within. It comes from doing the things you love and being around the people who love you. It shows not just from your words but also your actions. Feigned love will never bring happiness. My teacher said something that stuck with me. She said that “communication is beyond non-verbal, it comes from within; in your intonation, the volume of your speech, and the look in your eyes.” You will know if someone truly loves you when you focus on not what they say but how and why they say it. Look into their eyes and ask your gut if they are being truthful. If you are passionate about something it will make your eyes glow and your skin blush. I’ve found my passion, how about you?
YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU. If someone is yelling at you and you stand there and take it or stay on the phone and listen you are saying its okay to treat me this way. That horrible person will just continue to be horrible to you and they will become increasingly horrible. You will just become their punching bag. So, start to walk away, hang up the phone, and block the email addresses of abusive people. If you choose to be happy you must choose to erase these types of people from your inner circle. Happiness and abuse cannot coexist. They just can’t!
I started my class yesterday – thirsty to pursue my passion. It felt amazing to be there … somewhat surreal that I was there. I did not want it to end. When one of the other students confessed that he will be driving three hours each way every week to attend this class, I knew that I had made the right decision by following my dreams. Moving forward, I will have no more excuses for putting my dreams on hold. Press On!
Part of the choice to be happy is to take a lesson from some of the most selfish people that you’ve ever met. I’ve experienced folks so full of themselves that they don’t even listen when you speak with them. I’ve experienced folks who are often times more focused on talking about themselves while tuning out others. Well, what I’ve taken from them is really a half lesson. I tune in by speaking with negative-talking people but tune out by not speaking about myself or commenting on the things they say. I hear their words but don’t process them. Sometimes I will shift the topic to something else by using one of the words that they’ve used.
For Example a person says “My partner cursed me out because …”
My Answer: _________. This line means my answer is sheer silence. Sometimes I look at them with alarm, not with words. Or, using one of their words I could say, cursed words of yesterday are accepted in today’s society as acceptable forms of expressions.”
The negative speaker may repeat the statement or ask if I heard them.
Answer. Oh. Or, of course I heard you … you said ……. repeating verbatim what they said.
My strategy would be to get away from them and if that is not possible continue talking and change the direction of the conversation with a question. So, I would ask them “what are you going to do about this.” This is my favorite response. This works best for those who are genuinely not my friends but are just looking for someone to dump their problems on. They don’t care about dumping on you so don’t feel bad about tuning them out.
Do you have any advice on how to tune in while tuning out?
I accepted this week (even though I have always known it) that no one’s life is perfect. It really is what you make it. I’ve spent so much time looking back at the past thinking of all my should haves, could haves, and would haves in vain only to now realize that it was wasted time. Maybe if I had spent more time looking at life from the windshield and not the back window there would now be fewer of those shoulda coulda wouldas. But, then again, those moments made me who I am today-a person who has chosen to absorb, learn from, and enjoy everything coming my way. Without my past hiccups I would probably not be so eager today to experience what’s ahead. So, future, here I come!
Just when I started to doubt myself again and wonder whether I made the right decision to follow my passion I happened upon encouragement in the flesh. She wondered if she was the answer to my prayers for clarity and direction – all of which in my opinion went unanswered. I sat next to her on a plane for almost 3 hours without saying a word. Then I became frustrated with sitting there – my legs falling asleep and asked the flight attendant “how much longer?” He told me one hour and a half. Perhaps sensing my uneasiness she assured me that we only had about half an hour left; she was right. She asked me about my trip and where I was headed. She asked me about my profession and if I was happy. I told her of my desire to transition and make a living following my passion. I told her how upsetting it is when my well-meaning family and friends try to steer me away from the idea. Her answer was to the point and comforting. She said “will you regret it if you don’t do this?” Yes I answered. She said “well follow your passion because the worst thing will be to have regret at the end of your life. Find a way to roll your current career into what you love either by volunteer or contract work. If it doesn’t work then you can always come back to what you’re doing now but you have to pursue this otherwise you will never know.” It turns out that she has been advising students at a prestigious university for over 30 years on their career paths. When I received the airline’s email to check-in online I tried several times to change my seat. I finally gave up and reluctantly settled for that seat and it turned out that this particular seat was meant for me. Coincidence? I think not! So, I’m back in the saddle.
So the choice becomes to choose to delay gratification or to continue with the status quo. If doing the same thing makes you happy then continue in that same vein. If you are unhappy with your current state of affairs then try that passion of yours even on a part-time temporary basis. I have no plans to quit my day job just yet but maybe you do. All I know is that I must change directions and head towards the light and not the dark. I must do something. How about you?
After working as a professional for almost 10 years I realize that I am unhappy with my profession. If I stick with it then my family will be proud of me. If I follow my dreams then they’ll all think that I’m crazy. But I’m not happy. I’m just existing – resting on my laurels. The daily grind and hustle is just no fun; its draining and not at all rewarding. So, today I took my first step when I signed up for a non-credit course about what I love. I told two people about it and will never tell another soul. No one else can direct my life but me and the good Lord himself. Why keep detractors in the loop if they’ll just bring you down. There is no rule that your personal thoughts and ambitions must be shared with everyone.
As human beings we all need people to interact with. We are not no-man-lands standing in the middle of the ocean. However, happiness prospers best when we surround ourselves with like-minded people who have set similar goals for themselves and who are not threatened by our determination for success. Trying to change someone who does not have your mind frame is an exercise in futility. They may just be happy with what you perceive as mediocrity but to them it is enough success. Accept them the way they are or stay away from them. If you accept them the topic of change should be off-limits in your conversations. Let them be and be happy for them.
<noscript><a href=”http://polldaddy.com/poll/8384843/”>What Generates the Most Happiness for You?</a></noscript>
You may find a couple of people during a lifetime who genuinely care about your well-being. It’s up to you to make yourself a priority. Put your own name at the top of your To Do List and take care of your basic needs (e.g., get a hair appointment, take a brisk 30 minute walk, get a manicure/pedicure, and a new but affordable wardrobe item, and pay in cash).
So now that we’ve chosen to live a happy life do we go around putting everyone who offends us in their place? Absolutely not. We must be as wise as serpents and harmless as doves. Choosing to be happy is to focus on the ones and things that bring about that wonderful happy feeling and simply ignore the rest. Life is just too short to get sidetracked by those who intentionally try to throw you off track into sadness. Stay away from those people. If you can’t stay away think happy thoughts when they’re around and especially when they start talking.
So, at the end of the day I must simply extricate myself from ALL situations and/or relationships that breed unhappiness. Simple? Not really because extricating oneself is where the real work comes in. Happiness must be fought for, it is not given.
Coming to the conclusion that life can be a miserable existence occurs to most people probably a few times in life. However, what to do with that conclusion is a whole other story. It’s hard to discover that friends are not whom you’ve always thought them to be. But then again you always knew who they were but never accepted it. That feeling that you had 4 or 10 years ago that you should stay away from this person just never seemed to have any basis in reality. You could never quite put your finger on it but something about your friendship just didn’t feel quite right. Then one day your friend shows their true colors by flaking out on you, or yelling at you, or maybe it was an angry email listing all of your faults from the womb until now. It wasn’t the blow up itself but the venom in the bite that opened your eyes to the fact that this person clearly has a strong dislike for you. So perhaps now you know who your true friends are. Could you have figured it out before? Maybe? The bottom line is it would have never come to this if you had listened to your instincts all those years ago. Your instincts, the Holy Spirit, your 6th sense – they are all more truthful than the human tongue.