Part of the choice to be happy is to take a lesson from some of the most selfish people that you’ve ever met. I’ve experienced folks so full of themselves that they don’t even listen when you speak with them. I’ve experienced folks who are often times more focused on talking about themselves while tuning out others. Well, what I’ve taken from them is really a half lesson. I tune in by speaking with negative-talking people but tune out by not speaking about myself or commenting on the things they say. I hear their words but don’t process them. Sometimes I will shift the topic to something else by using one of the words that they’ve used.
For Example a person says “My partner cursed me out because …”
My Answer: _________. This line means my answer is sheer silence. Sometimes I look at them with alarm, not with words. Or, using one of their words I could say, cursed words of yesterday are accepted in today’s society as acceptable forms of expressions.”
The negative speaker may repeat the statement or ask if I heard them.
Answer. Oh. Or, of course I heard you … you said ……. repeating verbatim what they said.
My strategy would be to get away from them and if that is not possible continue talking and change the direction of the conversation with a question. So, I would ask them “what are you going to do about this.” This is my favorite response. This works best for those who are genuinely not my friends but are just looking for someone to dump their problems on. They don’t care about dumping on you so don’t feel bad about tuning them out.
Do you have any advice on how to tune in while tuning out?